Things to know

Date: Feb 26 1990

Hey! You guys lied to me. I haven't found one blonde babe named Heidi yet!

So I hear that if you kill someone here, you get a maximum of 7 years. If you rip off a Swiss bank, you get a minimum of 20 years. That's what I heard. Just so you know their priorities.

There is a law, either for Switzerland, or just Zürich, that says you can't have a shower after 10pm (or else the shower police get you ?)

When you first arrive, you are supposed to go to the health place at the airport and get radiated (to see if you have Tuberculosis I think). If you don't do this within something like 48 hours, you get fined. They are always conveniently closed when you arrive. That's your fault. If they were open, they take away your passport and return it at 5pm or so. Now if you just flew half-way around the world, you're dead tired. Forget about wandering off and checking into a hotel for some sleep while they hide your passport cause you can't spit without it when showing up. Do what I did. Show up 2 weeks later and pay the fine.

When you arrive, you are supposed to go to the Big Brother Bureau within 8 days and tell them where you are staying, answer all sorts of info that isn't their business. If you don't, you get fined. Then they send you away and tell you to mail in a photocopy of your passport real quick. (with all the money they rip you off with, they can't afford a photocopier). Then they send you a card so you can come back and pay them a pile of money. This is not a fine. I didn't know about this and when Big Brother found out where I was, they mailed me a little card in German and I thought I won something. hahahahahaha

(You probably know more about the recent stink here about the discovery that Big Brother had lots of info on 75,000 of their citizens. I don't know what's going on in the world since all my normal news input is in German)

Citizens must go to Big Brother also within 8 days of moving and do the above.

If you are a citizen and move into Zürich, there is a $30 fine per year.

I get a pay bonus each month for having to live in Zürich.

Each month about a twelfth of your pay is missing so they can give you a 13th paycheck in Nov(?) along with your normal paycheck so you are mega happy around christmas. It's really a interest-free loan to them.

I couldn't deposit more than $2000 in my new Swiss account when I showed up.

Nobody bats an eye if you used a thousand franc bill to pay for a cup of coffee.

In German, 'new buses' and 'new fines' sound very similar. If in doubt, and it's in Switzerland, its probably 'new fines'.

I'm not sure about this, but I think maybe you don't need a license to ride a motorcycle 125 cc or under.

When you first arrive, you think, 'Why is everybody staring at me? How do they know I'm a foreigner?'. DONT PANIC. Swiss people stare at everybody. If you look at them and make a large raspberry sound, they will probably think you are from one of the other kantons saying something in a different dialect of German.

Bums don't live on park benches here. They live in the underground shopping places.

You can't make a collect call from a pay-phone.

If you made a local call and haven't used up all the money you put in the gambling machine, and forget to push the red button when you hang up, you don't get back whats left over.

Figuring out how toilets flush in different buildings can be fun.

Eating here is a challenge. I wander around alot and discover that each place I go to is either closed, or a flower shop. Food is real expensive. Swiss people think their food is good. Cherry Coke didn't catch on. 'Light Cola' is not 'Diet Cola'. I don't think Classic coke exists. Coke can be $3 or more in a restaurant.

Money. I'm making a pile of it. But, if I were living like I was a year ago, with a nice large 2 bedroom apartment, (which is impossible to get here for a foreigner), I would be doing about the same, except still searching for a hamburger. If you are thinking about accepting a job in Switzerland, I'd insist on them finding you a place to live, if I were you. It's a miracle I got the room I have.

In Turkey and Greece, males do belly-dancing. In my German class, a young married fabulous Greek babe with hairier arms than mine taught me some Greek swear words. Which reminds me, I should go to bed around now so I can get up for my class.

p.s. Its spring here. It was around 70 degrees F today or so. I sat on a mountain (actually a big hill) in a t-shirt and did alot of nothing. Funny, is watching a kid chase her ball down a mountain. She caught it...